Believe it or not...

..I'm passionate about something other than Twilight, Rob Pattinson, and beauty products. Even though I do tend to daydream a little, or a lot, at times, I still have so many things going on in the here and now that I really love and care about. One of those things is my husband, who will be leaving for airborne school Thursday and will be gone for 3 weeks. I am going to be so lonely without him, and I will miss him terribly. It is nothing compared to a deployment, but I'm still not looking forward to it. He is my best friend, and I just don't feel complete unless I get to see him every day. Thankfully, though, I have some wonderful friends here who are always great company, and my mom is coming during her spring break, which is only a couple weeks away. I am really looking forward to seeing her and spending time with her since I miss her tons.

I'm also passionate about my chosen profession, which is counseling, and the way that it enables me to help people who are hurting or confused or angry or various other things. I want to get better and better every day as a therapist, just as I want to grow every day as a person. I watched a documentary tonight on PBS about 4 teenagers who were all learning how to deal with being blind, and it was so moving seeing how much they had to deal with and still did not give up. I would love to work with people with special needs someday, and their families, too. The Army has this Exceptional Family Members Program, and I think it would be so cool to be a counselor for them. I was truly blessed to have the chance to work with the kidos at ACI; even though that job was both mentally and physically exhausting at times, it taught me so much about Autism, behavior, and working with children who see the world a little differently. My mom, since I said that I wanted to be a therapist, has encouraged me to work with kids with special needs and their families; I think she knew that after growing up around people with special needs (my cousin has CP and my grandma has been in a wheel chair for most of my life), I could really understand what these families go through when they find out that their child is not going to be what they had always imagined. It doesn't mean that they still can't have a wonderful life, but it is just going to be a lot different than they originally planned.

Anyhow, just a few thoughts I felt like writing about.

In my dream world...

Was thinking about this today on the way to Cedar Crest (takes about 30 minutes to get there, so I have lots of time to think). In my dream world, Robert Pattinson would somehow discover I exist, and fly to Ft. Hood to ask me to marry him. I would tell him that I was already married, but that I would hope that we could be friends. He would say ok to this, even though it would cause him pain to just be friends with me. haha This is what happens when I have too much time to think.

I am really lucky to have such a wonderful husband who puts up with all of my ridiculous fantasies. He is so gentle and so funny. I can't wait to see how much our future children will be like him : )

Stronger than I thought..

I had to do something today in my training to be therapist that was very hard for me, and I had been dreading it all week. I thought that I wouldn't actually have the nerve to do it, but I surprised myself when I did. I am not often proud of myself, but I have to say that I was today. I have learned so much about being a counselor these past couple of years, but I have learned even more about myself.

I got to spend time with my friends Amanda and Brian today, who just recently brought home their newborn son, Jackon. He is truly beautiful, and I can't even imagine how proud they must be of him! I can't wait for the day that Kenny and I can bring home our baby. I really have Baby Fever, and it only gets worse when I see my friends so happy with their adorable children. I know that there will be tough times as a parent, and especially as an Army wife/mom, but I am ready for those challenges. I just want to be a mom so much! I can't wait to see Kenny as a dad, either. He spoils our dog Abby so much (who thinks she is a child), so it will probably be so much worse when we have an actual child!

End of the Semester Thoughts

Just finished with my 5th semester of graduate school in community counseling at UMHB. Time is flying by so quickly; it is hard to believe that I have made it through a whole semester of seeing clients! It was really scary for me to think about actually seeing clients at the beginning of the semester, but I think I am starting to get the hang of it. I really feel like I have found my "thing" in life...this is what I am supposed to do. Of course, I wish I was a great writer or photographer, or something else cool, but I think I am meant to just read other people's books instead of write them. I feel bad about the amount of time that I have to spend devoted to school stuff, though, especially since Kenny is supposed to deploy this summer. I think I have been so busy, I haven't really thought about him leaving too much, but I know that it is probably going to hit me at Christmas, since he won't be here next year for the holidays. I am going to try very hard to enjoy the time that we have before he goes, and not get upset every time a holiday comes around that he will miss the next year. I'm so lucky to have friends here who can give me advice and suggestions on how to get through this first deployment. Never something I thought I would go through growing up, but I'm an Army wife now, and this is part of the deal.

Found out a couple of days ago that Kenny's mom and her boyfriend are coming to visit us next weekend, so we really have to get ourselves in gear if we want to have our house ready by then. I'm glad that we moved, despite all of the stress (I will never, ever move again while in the middle of a semester)! This house is much nicer, even though I have had to deal with huge flying roaches and baby rattlesnakes. Guess that is just Texas for you. I miss Kentucky so much it hurts sometimes, especially when I find gigantic flying insects in my bathroom that I know for sure we didn't have in the bluegrass!

This is the first entry that I have written here, and I hope that this will allow me to express a lot of the thoughts that I sometimes can't seem to vocalize for one reason or another. It is sad that school has killed my love of writing, because it really used to be a passion of mine. Maybe I can bring it back from the dead.